That Metro Article…

This past week I have had to look at my role within my faith community in ways that I haven’t really had to do in the most recent past.  As some of you may know (the local folk), the South Bay’s entertainment weekly, the Metro, did a feature article on the Catholic community’s receptiveness to the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender) community on November 18. The article, generally well-received in the parish itself, nonetheless created a bit of a stir within the broader Catholic community.  This blog entry is really about a story within the story.

I first saw the article online and I reacted to that front cover with surprise, but not total discomfort.  Then I saw it in print with my face splashed all over the front. I was shocked.  For the record: I did not have advance input in terms of the cover or headlines. I’m going to guess that it was the editor’s choice.  The picture had a photoshopped rainbow background with headlines that were clearly designed to get attention…and they did! “Gay Catholics Come Out.” Considering the rather racy images and headlines, the article itself was quite thorough and informative.  It wasn’t an “exposé” but rather a thoughtful and somewhat nuanced look at the local Catholic pastoral efforts at LGBT outreach. The writer, Jessica Fromm, generously quoted both Catholic doctrine and the reactions from local experts and authorities in the field of pastoral LGBT concerns and those working in issues of diversity in society.  In short, Fromm’s article brought out spiritual issues that many LGBT persons and their family members face every day as they reckon with a religious tradition that has an often contentious relationship with LGBT persons and their families. 

Follow Up to the Article

The most interesting thing that happened over this past week was the series of post-Metro conversations I had with various folks. I began the week with a sense of embarrassment brought on by the attention from the article.  My priest friends ribbed me, parish leaders joked, and people at the local café and gym stared.  But in the course of the week, people from all walks of life also shared their reaction to the story through letters and countless comments and conversations. After hearing these stories and reading them on my Facebook page, emails and letters, I soon realized that the Metro story wasn’t about the parish, myself or the Church.  It was about real people. 

The article was really a catalyst for people to have a long overdue conversation about their struggle with an institution that doesn’t embrace them or their partners.  People shared how they had to come to understand themselves in relationship with God whom they considered as a LOVING and ACCEPTING God.  Their God was not a God of judgment and guilt preached and taught by their catechists, priests and parents.

Those who shared their reactions to the article were really sharing “God stories,” testaments of faith.  Despite suffering rejection from parents or family members and the Church, these folks believed that deep down in their hearts God made them and loved them.  Their struggle was not with God, but with the Church.  Many remarks addressed the issue of parish life.  I was somewhat surprised to hear that many LGBT individuals long to reconcile their Catholic identity with their own identity as LGBT and that they simply wish to belong to a community that is warm and accepting of them as individuals and as couples and in some cases, a family.  They long to belong to a community that welcomes all people. 

I’d like to share excerpts from some of the comments.  Since I did not have explicit permission to include the identities of the people who shared their stories, I have not included names and have edited out any details that might compromise the writers’ identities.  I have also taken the liberty to shorten some of the letters for the purpose of this blog entry.

Excerpts

Parish Leader

...The GLBT story is just one facet of the adversity we experience as individuals in our broader community. I think it is important to continue to emphasize the interrelatedness of this issue with immigration, violence, discrimination and poverty, causing suffering that is so pervasive in each of our lives, and how we are strengthened as a community by our interconnectedness, in our relationships with each other and through the teachings of Christ. It would be challenging, and painful, to have this practice of inclusivity be picked apart. Perhaps we can start facing this challenge by continuing to acknowledge and reaffirm for ourselves, to each other as community, how tightly our stories are woven through our support and commitment to each other and for change, and to being true disciples of Christ, in spite of the confines of archaic doctrine that is so far removed from real life. 

First Time Visitor to St. Julie’s

I was raised in part by a very religious grandmother who attended mass seven days a week and would have priests over for Sunday dinner. For a while I was a very devoted (C)atholic and even considered becoming a priest, but when I was around 12 years old I started having serious doubts and differences of opinion with the church. 

 …The main disagreement was with the church's treatment of the LGBT community and their rights. I didn't want to be part to a group that seemed to be so adamantly against the LBGT community and the basic dignities and rights that I felt and still feel they deserve. I also had concerns about the church's treatment of the newly emerging sexual abuse scandal, the church's views on women's rights, and the bloody and blatantly hypocritical history of the church in general. I spoke with my local priest about my concerns and all he could tell me was that the church was not against the people, but the "sin" and basically shrugged his shoulders and asked me to ignore the concerns I was having. I then spoke with someone involved in the youth ministry hoping that he would have a better understanding of what I was talking about and he told me I was opening a "big can of worms" and gave me the same advice as the priest. 

 ...Upon careful consideration of the "advice" of the priest and youth minister I decided that I no longer wanted to be a part of the Catholic church and informed my disappointed parents that I did not wish to be confirmed because I felt that it would be a lie to myself, them, and God. I attempted to find another church...

 ...After reading the article in the Metro, I was very touched and decided to return to a regular Sunday mass on my own accord after 10 years or so. The general message and feel of the St. Julie's parish almost moved me to tears. It was not the cold, unaccepting, and powerful church I remember from before, but a warm and loving community that preaches peace, love, and acceptance of all regardless of sexual orientation, identity, or religious belief. I felt like I had come home again…Thank you for reminding me that although Catholic's are one religion, they are different people and don't all have the same views.

 

Reader from outside the area 

…I love being Catholic. I love the traditions I was raised in, my faith and my relationship with God are very important to me. And no matter how often I have questioned Catholicism lately, I have never questioned my faith. My faith has only grown stronger over the years….However I can't say I haven't been seriously disappointed with the Catholic church in recent years.  All the "Yes on 8" stickers and lawn posters being handed out after Mass, kept me from going to church for several months last year.  I would find myself just sitting in the pew being angry, and not feeling God's love or any love.  I found that all the passive aggressive political homilies our pastor would give would just infuriate me and I no longer felt proud to be Catholic.

 ...At times in the last few years I would try and muster up the energy to go to Mass, reminding myself it was about my relationship with God not their ignorance, fear and hate.  But I always felt like my faith was personal, but my religion was about community.  I can pray anywhere I want, going to church was about celebrating my faith with others.  However, with a non-Catholic husband and an increasing anger towards the church, I have seriously contemplated finding a new church.  Even not (b)aptizing our unborn child (I'm 5 months pregnant) Catholic.  But neither of those decisions have sat right with me.  So I've been doing a lot of praying.  Asking...begging God to give me an answer and help me through all this turmoil.

 ...I have always known there were gay Catholics, and was amazed by their devotion to a religion that all but turns their back on them…

… I want you to know that as long as there are priests like you out there, publicly welcoming ALL of God's children to church...I can keep going.  I have to keep going.  The Catholic church helped raise me and is so much a part of mine and my family's history and just because it's in a strange and dark time, doesn't mean I should turn my back on it. If all open-minded, loving, accepting people left the church, what would be left?

…Thank you for making me feel proud to be Catholic again. We have a tough fight ahead of us, but love conquers all, as you clearly know.

 

How am I doing now?

Some folks have asked how I’m doing after the article was published.  Actually, all things considered, I’m okay.  There has been the expected push back and predictably a strong shove from the wing nuts from the far right edges of the Catholic community.  I’ve been explicitly named by CatholicCulture.Org as someone who is dangerous to the faith. Some critics have gained the attention of higher ecclesial authorities and have tried to exercise some influence in that area. In sum, there is pressure to deal with; however, given that the attention span of an average American is only slightly higher than that of my long-dead Pekinese, Chang, or my currently living generic “long-hair” cat, Koo, I suspect that the attention paid to this story will fade with time. People will turn their attention to rumors of Brittany Spears’ nuptials or the cancellation of Adam Lambert on Good Morning America.  The people looking for ecclesial scandals will pour over the details of a new report on the priest scandal in Ireland and the Catholic Taliban will turn their sites elsewhere and find a new heretic to burn or a new cause to promote….eventually. 

People asked if I would do this if I knew then what I know now. I would have to say, “yes.”  On the other hand, if I suspected that the Metro article would foster hatred or exacerbate the pain for those who already suffer from separation from their families due to their sexual orientation and from the Church in which they were baptized, I would not agree to participate in the dialog. I believe that because this article has stirred up such reactions from both sides of the theological divide, I feel that it really is my responsibility from this point on to participate in dialog and conversation with all persons and all perspectives.

There are ecclesial “careerists” who do not want to engage others in a dialog because they fret that conversation with others on difficult subjects will stain their record. Careerists play it safe and say very little in the hopes that one day they might hold a hat and stick. For those of you still wondering: I have no illusions of adding hats to my wardrobe or possessing anything more than a broom stick to clean up after a dinner party. No, I’m a simple country (suburban) priest interested merely in the work of justice for the oppressed and providing meaningful pastoral ministry to the people. My sole ambition in this case is that all of us speak about difficult issues with open hearts and open minds.  Thus, I see myself continuing whatever I’m doing.

There are others who fancy themselves as the “true” Catholics whose duty is to seek out all forms of possible heresy and correct the pernicious errors of certain liberal theologians and clerics. These folks shut their ears to conversation and dialog.  They subscribe to the doctrine, “error has no rights.”  Because error has no rights, the orthodox believer has no obligation to listen to what “error” has to say and thus, their only option is to shut down the dialog. Those of us that live in the real world know that in a post-modern, highly technical and information-oriented, democratic society, it is impossible to “teach” without dialog.

There is a clarification I want to send out to the moral absolutists: Conversation and dialog does not mean we are rewriting the Catechism. Dialog means we are talking, listening and forging a deep appreciation for the life-story of another person. Through listening, we have a chance to bond together as sister and brother.  Through a relationship built on the foundation of good will, we will gain a deep appreciation for another person’s experience.  Perhaps we might gain an insight into ourselves and then we begin the process of truly loving our neighbor!  Wouldn’t that be great!?  There is nothing to fear through dialog and conversation: Perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18

The “New Catholic Taliban”

Moral absolutists are fundamentalists who are similar to fundamentalists from all faith traditions. Fundamentalists of all stripes and creeds believe in one specific truth, theirs.  The Afghani Taliban are prime examples of moral absolutists.  They believe in their absolute certainty. Their rise to power came about through a series of political accidents.  History provided an opportunity for them to seize power…and they did!  A few postings ago, I made a snarky comment referring to the self-defining orthodox Catholic moral absolutists as “The Catholic Taliban.” In response to this snide remark, one of the comments on the blog prayed for my early demise.  A kind of Catholic fatwah I suppose.  I’ll let you decide.  Oh, I forgot to say this: fundamentalists, particularly the Taliban, are not known for their sense of humor and self-deprecation.

The secular equivalent of these folks would be the Tea Baggers.  Like the Catholic Taliban earlier posting, Tea Baggers are very clear about what they are against, but sadly are unable to effectively articulate what they are actually for. (See the Tea Baggers unedited footage and check out Bill Moyer’s comprehensive coverage of Glenn Beck and Dick Armey’s 9/12 tea bagger rally. You might check out Jon Stewart’s coverage as a shorter alternative.  It’s funnier.)

Moral absolutists and fundamentalists are not new to the United States; while some fundamentalists have gained some measure of notoriety, their fame and influence have not been sustained over the long haul. Why? The United States is a country founded on dialog and dialog is foundation of a democratic society. Religious institutions that fail to engage in the American culture of consensus-building and dialog, those faith institutions will ultimately fall into irrelevance and their audience will shrink in size.  If the faith community – including the Catholic Church – is to have any hope of helping shape our society in the future, it will have to learn to engage in constructive ways of dialog.

The Model of Persuasion in Jesus’ Ministry: Pastoral Dialog

If we believe in the veracity of our moral claim and that the Divine Truth cannot be compromised by contact with human hands, why is it so threatening for them to sit down and have a conversation?  Is it possible to take a non-confrontational approach to talk about difficult subjects?  Is it possible to engage in a conversation in which both parties appreciate the power of another’s point of view and even nuance each point of view as the conversation continues?  I believe it is. Let us turn to Jesus’ ministry as a model for dialog so that we can get an understanding of how we might want to approach others. 

Jesus entire ministry has been about love and compassion for all God’s children. His preaching and teaching, his actions towards the poor and eventually his resurrection, confront the lie of Pontius Pilate and Pax Romana.  Christ’s followers in other generations would take up the truth and join with others to, as Jesuit martyr, Ignacio Ellacuría says, “uproot injustice and exploitation, and to establish a new earth, wherein the life of the new human may be possible.”

Last week’s Gospel reading had Jesus confronting Pilate with the truth.  Pilate was not interested in the truth.  He was interested in maintaining order.  Jesus threatened the order by raising questions, by bringing the outcasts to the table through his healing the Samaritan women, healing the foreign leper, by embracing the poor and the despised of society.  Jesus’ attitude was to welcome, engage and love the person.  Through the relationship, people were transformed.  The power to transform belongs to Christ alone.  The power of maintaining control, belongs to Pilate.  Jesus rejected Pilates query whether or not Jesus was a king.  Jesus reframed the issue as a matter of “truth,” rather than obedience and control.

Jesus is clear that his authority does not come from the same place as Pilate.  Jesus’ authority comes from Truth.  And what is “truth” for Jesus? Look at his preaching and his actions.  His preaching is about love, not hate. Forgiveness, not revenge.  Reconciliation, not domination.  Abundance, not stinginess. Community, not the ego or the self. Surrender and letting go, not grasping and clinging to power.

Lastly, look to the Resurrection for Truth. The resurrection is much more than an empty tomb.  It is the Risen Christ in the people. Try to think of the resurrection of Christ as the Risen Community.  Like Jesus did in his life, so too will the Risen Community speak truth to power. It will be the community that takes a stand against prejudice, homophobia, war-waging, fear-mongering, scape-goating, and the violence waged against the weak and the poor.  It is the Risen Community that will stand with immigrants, the mentally ill, the physically challenged, and anyone who suffers the pains of prejudice and hatred. 

The Risen Community’s Advent Mission

The Risen Community faith is a powerful, beautiful web of relationships bound together out of mutual love. These relationships are nurtured by Word and Sacrament and over time, will transform the very society in which we live. The Risen Community is morally committed to reach out and engage in dialog with all persons: rich, poor, brown, white, black, straight, gay, old, young, able-bodied, physically challenged, immigrants with papers and those without papers. During this Advent season, let us take the time to listen to the stories of our co-workers and family members. We will take time also to listen to our own story. As we pay attention to what we have heard from others, let us ask ourselves what are we hearing about our very selves?  What changes are happening to us as we hear these stories?  Are we allowing ourselves to express emotions? Do we suppress feelings? As we listen to the stories of the people around us, we find that we too have our own story: the story of how we deal with accepting the other.  Connecting with the other. And finally, embracing the other in love.  Throughout this blog entry I have shared my own struggle of the head and heart.

The Story within the Story

The blog started out about a newspaper story, but then it became the story of those who read the article and eventually it became my story when I listened to the testimonies of dozens of people who shared their reactions with me. The process of listening, connecting and loving is indeed a process of transformation and thus, the starting point of our own transformation is in the story within the story.  May the season of Advent provide us the grace to be aware of the countless stories unfolding all around us every day.  When Christ comes, may he find us all, bound together in a community of love.  A community of

Children, youth, young

adults, middle aged and elderly.

People of every marital status - Single, married,

divorced, separated, widowed and remarried.

People of many cultures - Races, national origins,

languages, and religious backgrounds.

People of all life experiences -

Straight, gay and lesbian.

People native born and immigrants -

Documented and undocumented

People of all economic backgrounds -

The poor, the middle class and wealthy.

People who struggle with hardships -

Disabilities, handicaps, mental illness and addiction.